Quick to Hear, Slow to Speak, Slow to Anger

In the early church, there was a lot of conflict. Peoples which had historically opposed each other were suddenly brought under the same roof and told not just to do life together, but to honor one another (gasp!). What some saw as unclean, others believed was totally fine (Romans 14:1-12). Other groups would get furious over disagreements, leading to outbursts & division (James 1:19-27, 2 Tim. 2:22-26). 

God wasn’t having any of this, so He instructed the early church on how to combat these divisions. Throughout the scriptures, we can see some general rules of thumb:

• Don’t jump to conclusions, instead listen fairly (James 1:19)
• Don’t respond out of gut-reaction, instead be patient (James 1:26, 2 Tim. 2:24)
• Speak and correct with gentleness (James 1:19, 2 Tim. 2:25, Gal. 1:1)
• Don’t judge another’s honoring of the Lord based solely on your own practices; if they’re doing more or less than you, so long as they are following His teachings (Romans 14:1-12)

We may not be the early church, but we certainly have our share of conflicts. Perhaps a friend has different political views than you, surprises you on a point of their theology, or thinks pineapple on pizza is a remotely good idea! When we experience these moments, we can learn from God’s approach to conflict.

When someone shocks or offends you, rather than bursting out in inflammatory, reactive accusations, consider asking them what they mean by their actions and listen to their answer (James 1:19, 26). If their heart is to love the Lord and honor others, and they aren’t harming anyone, opposing the Lord, or causing sin, honor that you both are seeking to live righteously in the Lord’s eyes, even if you do it a bit differently (Romans 14:1-12). If they are acting in a way that dishonors the Lord and/or others, seek first to correct with gentleness and honor (2 Tim. 2:25, Gal. 1:1, Matt. 18:15). If they’re unrepentant when you first speak with them, bring others into the matter to see if that will help (Matt. 18:16-17)! If they still don’t change their ways, it may be time to set up some boundaries (Matt. 18:17, Romans 16:17-18).

The approach the Bible teaches us to take to conflict is one of measured response, not gut reaction. To ask questions to understand and then respond, not make accusations to belittle. Once we listen, then we take our action. Doing so builds bridges to restoration and relationship (Matt. 18:15), brotherly empowerment (Prov 27:17), and holy redemption (2 Tim. 2:25-26).

So friends, when you come across conflict, how will you respond?