Impression Management & The Practice of Secrecy

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If you take notice, a certain amount of what you say can be categorized as impression management. For instance, we may tell someone about a show we were watching, and start with the disclaimer, "I don’t usually watch TV, but the other night. . ." Or, we may have bought something nice for ourselves and find it necessary to explain to a friend (who didn't ask) "Oh, I only got it because it was on sale. I usually don't …"

Why do we do this? How much we watch TV has nothing to do with what you were going to say, and your friend wasn't asking how much that thing cost. We do it because we want to make sure the other person is thinking about us the way we want to be thought about. We want to manage our impression so that we're seen in the best possible light.

Jesus shows us a better way.

Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven… When you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. (Matt. 6:1, 3-4 NASB)

Here's my exhortation: fast from image management & practice doing secret acts of love, generosity, and kindness. . . and don't tell anyone. 

As author and pastor John Ortberg puts it, "the practice of secrecy exists to liberate those who are trapped by a desire "to be seen." 

There is a reward that we forfeit when we do things "to be seen", and there is a reward that we gain by doing good work in secret. We can give up trying to control what others think of us. We can embrace a life of unrecognized love & good deeds. I pray we choose the better way.